Thursday, 4 December 2014

Every Single Peter Pan Live! Moment You Need to Know About

Peter Pan LiveVirginia Sherwood/NBC
It's here! It's finally here!
Peter Pan Live! is happening tonight, and we know the perfect thing to accompany your viewing of this inevitable masterpiece of live televised theatre (other than the entirety of Twitter): Our Peter Pan Live! Liveblog Live! It's live, you guys. So live.
We'll be hanging out here on our couch for the entire three hour broadcast, bringing you all of our most clever thoughts, opinions, and even tweets right as they come to us. We're even joined by a self-proclaimed Peter Pan expert, who has seen the show both on VHS and live onstage countless times to give us official word on whether tonight's performance shines or pales in comparison to the Peter Pans of the past. Plus, we're very sick and have taken a lot of cold medicine. This is going to be great! 
Will Allison Williams move us to tears with her rendition of "I Won't Grow Up?" WillChristopher Walken's Captain Hook change our lives for the better? Will any harnesses horribly malfunction and send children careening into fake walls? We're so excited to find out and then immediately react to it for your amusement!
So check back right here after 8 p.m. ET and keep refreshing the page throughout the night, and don't forget to watch on NBC and tweet right along with us! Oh, and if you're over 21, we've got this handy dandy little drinking game for you to play, in order to increase your enjoyment of both the show and our liveblog.
See you at 8 p.m.!
Here we go...
8:07 PM
"That's how she barks when she smells danger." How much danger has that dog really smelled?Yep. That's our first bit of commentary on tonight's proceedings. You're welcome. We'll be here all night. 
8:10 PM 
Is this Tinkerbell better than Julia Roberts in Hook? We have yet to decide, but this mix of live theatre plus live animals plus live CGI is sure to be an adventure! 
8:12 PM
"Boy, why are you crying?" Was the boy actually crying? We heard no sobs. We do hear our Peter Pan expert reciting lines already, so this is going to be an interesting night. 
Truth. 
8:15 PM
Allison starts singing, and Peter Pan expert says "Oh, she'll be fine." This is a good sign. 
8:19 PM
We're pretty sure we'd follow Petison Paniams anywhere if he/she sang to us like this. We're sort of entranced. 
8:28 PM
HOW ARE THOSE BOYS STILL ASLEEP? 
8:29 PM
"Girls!" - Allison Williams just said in frustration. 
8:35 PM
Sorry, we love this. We're not hate watching anymore. Now we're just jealous because this looks like an incredibly fun show. We will, however, always make fun of Christian Borle's mustache, so hopefully he shows up again soon. 
8:41 PM
We found a thing that is not good! We love ya Christopher Walken, but a silly singing pirate with a hook for a hand you are not. We suppose you don't cast Christopher Walken if you don't want your character to sound and look and act like Christopher Walken, but they could have at least gotten a caffeinated Christopher Walken. Have we said Christopher Walken enough? 
8:48 PM
Tiger Lily! And this is where it's going to get interesting, since former versions of this show could not exactly be referred to as politically correct. 
8:50 PM
The Lost Boys are not exactly boys, now are they? A grown woman playing a little boy is suddenly much less weird than a bunch of grown men playing little boys.
8:53 PM
We have no idea what's going on but we really wish someone would get Walken a Redbull.  Bring back Petison Paniams! Or at least that drug trip of a crocodile. 
6:07 PM
6:12 PM
We're completely OK with Walken's dancing. It's great, but we get uncomfortable in a secondhand embarrassment kind of way whenever he opens his mouth. 
6:15 PM
Everyone else saw that 2 second cut back to Walken still "holding" that note during the commercial break right? 
This tweet is perfect: 
6:20 PM
Finally time for "I Won't Grow Up." This song was in our heads before the show even started and now it's there forever, left to mingle in the background with "Shake It Off" and the Mail Chimp ad from Serial
6:22 PM
What is even the point of the ground looking like water if they're just going to walk all over it like they're Jesus or something?! (This thing's gonna get funny soon, we promise. Maybe.) 
6:24 PM
Allison's saucer fell off of her head. She caught it. She's a true artist. 
6:27 PM
Seriously you guys, Allison Williams is such a joy, and she is clearly having a fantastic time. We're officially here for her. Not huge fans of her weird mesh blouse, but what can you do?
6:34 PM
Has Wendy not yet figured out that she and Peter clearly have completely different priorities in life? 
6:39 PM
Cringetopher Walken is killing us. Wake up, dude! You're on TV!
6:50 PM
Our Peter Pan expert didn't think they'd do this part, but is pleasantly surprised that they did, though lots of lines were changed for the better. 
6:51 PM
Oh hey John and Michael got to do something, for a second! 
6:54 PM
Wendy, you can do so much better. Peter's a perpetual 12 year old and he has no idea what a relationship even is. Not worth it. (We're so tired.) 
7:18 PM
We're not too old to admit we totally just clapped our little hearts out to save the life of that little computer generated bug. 
7:22 PM
The pirates are so fabulous and Hook is basically sleepwalking. This is so unfortunate. Maybe a live audience would have helped bring in some energy? 

7:31 PM
Beginning to wonder if Hook actually knows English, or if he's just reciting things phonetically with no idea what he's actually saying. 
7:37 PM
Wendy with the sword on the plank is the best Wendy of the night. The rest of this fight, however, is a tad sleepy. 
7:40 PM
Cookie is our favorite pirate, by the way. 
7:47 PM
Mrs. Darling's reaction to getting her children back was our reaction to not having to watch Christopher Walken not try anymore, but that is not how we would react to our children suddenly reappearing after however many days. "WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!" is the first thing we would have probably said. 
7:53 PM
We feel like Wendy should be reacting in some way to her old crush now hitting on her daughter, instead of just sitting there caressing that comb. 
7:55 PM
Well, it's over. Honestly, our only complaint is the fact that due to Christopher Walken's non-acting, we kept losing track of what was happening whenever he was on screen. Our Peter Pan expert "enjoyed this modern reimagining of a classic tale." Allison Williams was a dream. We want Melissa Joan Hart to adopt us. We're really tired, but we're going to stay up for a bit to research whether or not we can install flying rigs in our apartment in order to make getting out bed in the morning way more fun. Stay tuned for more well-written, thought-out, non-impulsive and actually funny coverage of this magical show. 
For now, we'll leave you with one last tweet that made us giggle: 

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